Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Cranky Post about "Killer Waterfalls" & The News

Sorry readers, but I'm taking a break from sex stuff today (not thinking about it, of course) and writing about something that just caught my eye and pissed me off.  I was perusing my shiny new smartphone a few minutes ago and checking the news when I came across this headline from USA Today:

"Killer waterfalls claim tourists in Yosemite and Kauai"

OMG! Run for the hills, the waterfalls are after you - and they are MAD!!!

Really?  "Killer waterfalls?"  Now, I have heard of killer sharks, killer bees, even killer blowjobs but...killer waterfalls?  Did the waterfalls suddenly become mobile as part of global warming?  Did I miss something here?  Aside from the ridiculous and misleading headline, the story went on to report that "witnesses reported that they saw one or more hikers slip into the water near and over the edge" at Vernal Falls in Yosemite.  The report then states that no bodies have been recovered yet.  So...we don't really know for sure if anyone has died, do we?  The Kauai part of the story tells about a man who died near the end of June "swimming in a natural pool below Kipu falls".  Ummm...how exactly did the waterfall kill this dude?

So, my point is, the headline on the story - like a lot of headlines these days - in totally sensationalistic and, well, as far as I can tell, inaccurate.  I'd also like to point out that the people who allegedly went over Vernal Falls did so only after climbing over a guardrail and ignoring signs that are posted warning not to go near the edge of the water.  Worse yet, these genii were reportedly gesturing TO THEIR KIDS to climb over and join them.  Fortunately, the kids didn't get over before Ma and Pa Einstein fell in. 

I have been to Vernal Falls.  I know Vernal Falls.  Vernal Falls is a friend of mine.  I was there several years ago in the the spring after some very heavy winter snowfalls had produced an especially high river due to all that snow melting and, you know, running downhill.  Trust me, you would have to be a MORON to climb the guardrail to get closer.  There was a shitload (in the south, that's how we describe large quantities) of water rushing over those very hard looking boulders and crashing the 317 feet down to the river below.  I was kinda freaked out just standing at the rail and even being that close to the edge - and I'm extremely manly as ya'll know!

Here's a pic I took - the teeny tiny dots on the right are people, just to give you a sense of scale:


Look, I'm sorry these people died (actually, I'm really just sorry that apparently the kids had to witness their parents die) but if those people were dumb enough to climb over the guardrail, then, well...so be it, I say.  When I first read this story earlier today on MSNBC's site (with a much less hyberbolic headline, I might add), I couldn't help but glance at some of the reader comments and there was some guy blaming incidents like this on too many warning signs.  He said that studies had shown that too many signs desensitized people to danger and thus the warnings are ignored.  Yeah, STUPID people probably do just that, but if it helps weed out the gene pool, I'm all for it. In fact, can we please put up some more signs?

Ok, my rant is over.  I'm a little cranky today and needed to vent, I suppose.  Defending poor, helpless waterfalls seemed easy enough.  Now, don't even get me started on these bozos in Washington and this clusterfuck about the debt ceiling!

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